oneiro: (Default)
Basically obsessed with Pretty Lights lately.

I'm kind of high. Had to scrape the resin off not one, but two bowls. (lol, wrote balls). Ridiculous. That was really annoying.

Pretty Lights is so good. This song fucking rules.

Anyway.

I'm trying to write in this thing more often. I'm also, for once, trying to force myself to keep writing. So like... just typing, even though I honestly don't think I have anything worth saying at the moment. That's why the past few sentences have been total bullshit. At this point, if you're still reading, you probably feel like you've wasted five hours of your life. Yup. Your life is wasting away as you read these nonsensical, meaningless sentences...

Whoa, those were like, meta-sentences. Sentences about writing sentences. Grammarception. O_o

Lol. WTF is wrong with me. I'm usually not the kind of noob who types like a retard while high (actually that might not be true but I'm swinging with it), but that resin, plus being drunk, made me pretty high. Actually that must be it. The drunk part is making me dumb enough to write all my retarded high shit. I've figured it out! I feel like a scientist.

LOLOLOL WTF IS THIS ENTRY

Okay.

-clears throat-

Serious business time. This is serious town.

I'm sort of typing to the beat. I can hear the words with the music. It's pretty sweet.

So, uh. Yeah. I don't know. I'm chilling at Tom's. Will probably play Mass Effect in a bit. He's online like... doing stuff. Going to play this game called Supreme Commander 2 with his friend Matt in a bit. It's a strategy RPG. Which is pretty cool. Strategy games are like, Age of Empirea games. I used to play the shit out of that. I loved Age of Empires.

I really want to fucking make a video. Tom, his two cousins, and I have been talking about making games during the last few family functions. His one cousin wants to go for political warfare, warring nations, shit like that. I think it sounds fucking awesome. I could do the characters, the dialogue. It would be so sick. We know enough people that know programming. It could be a low-budget RPG, kind of retro on the graphics and shit, but totally awesome in terms of story and how the strategy is employed. You don't need sick graphics for good game play in a turn-based RPG. I love those fucking games.

Maybe I'll play Persona 2: Innocent Sin in a bit.

Whoa, some chick is rapping in this song. She sounds hot.

WUFWUGY IS IM'ING ME HOLD ON

Ok, he's being mean, saying he's gonna spoil Breaking Bad for me. He knows he's gonna watch it before I do because Tom and I have been procrastinating hardcore with the season premieres in shows lately (Mad Men and Game of Thrones). CURSE YOU WUGY. CURSE YOU.

Alright. This fucking stupid weird entry has gone on long enough. I am a psychotic melon. G'day/night. -tips hat-

birthday.

Dec. 3rd, 2011 07:05 am
oneiro: (pic#976840)
and now I'm 22.

o_o

Apparently it's Francesca Lia Block's birthday too, and we posted on each other's walls.

:D
oneiro: (Default)
I'm reading an essay entitled "Tryptamine Hallucinogens and Consciousness" by Terence McKenna, and I particularly liked this one paragraph. I can't say my knowledge of xenoarchaeology is vast by any means, but I just felt like this made sense. I dunno.

It is only the conceit of the scientific and post-industrial societies that allows us to even propound some of the questions that we take to be so important. For instance, the question of contact with extraterrestrials is a kind of red herring premised upon a number of assumptions that a moment's reflection will show are completely false. To search expectantly for a radio signal from an extraterrestrial source is probably as culture bound a presumption as to search the galaxy for a good Italian restaurant. And yet, this has been chosen as the avenue by which it is assumed contact is likely to occur. Meanwhile, there are people all over the world - psychics, shamans, mystics, schizophrenics - whose heads are filled with information, but it has been ruled a priori irrelevant, incoherent, or mad. Only that which is validated through consensus via certain sanctioned instrumentalities will be accepted as a signal. The problem is that we are so inundated by these signals - these other dimensions - that there is a great deal of noise in the circuit.
oneiro: (Default)
You can learn a lot about someone by the music they listen to. Hit shuffle on your iPod or mp3 player and write down the first 20 songs. No cheating or skipping songs that are shameful. That is the fun!

(I barely have any music on my ipod because it's really my iphone and has no space. So this is coming from a limited version of my musical taste. Also, I'm going to skip artist repeats.)

1. Desert Kisses - Siouxsie and the Banshees
2. Shadowboxer - Fiona Apple
3. People Of The Far North - Nobuo Uematsu (FF X Piano Collection)
4. Samurai - Juno Reactor
5. Been A Son - Nirvana
6. Suicide Picnic - Velvet Acid Christ
7. Cruise (Don't Stop) - Nightmares On Wax
8. Suffer Little Children - The Smiths
9. Horror Show - The Birthday Massacre
10. Deeply Disturbed - Infected Mushroom
11. The Killing Moon - Echo & The Bunnymen
12. Remember That - Rakim
13. Be Mine Tonight - Blackmore's Night
14. Rainbow-colored Crayon - Akizo Shikata (Ar tonelico III)
15. Loco - Coal Chamber
16. Chinese Arithmetic - Eric B. & Rakim
17. Fiction (Dreams in Digital) - Orgy
18. Sepsis - Otep
19. Lake Bodom - Children of Bodom
20. Holiday in Cambodia - Dead Kennedies

Where is my Tool? :[ Oh well.
oneiro: (pic#976858)
And so begins the month of NaNoWriMo for me. I had to fret for the past few days over this Bible exam I had today (which, by the way, I did verily destroy like Sodom and Gomorrah - man I rocked that shit), and now, despite the fact that I have not one, not two, not three, but four, FOUR lengthy writing assignments due next week, at different points. But I am undeterred - I will write!

I have the need to do things perfectly if I have the option to, so I have to unfortunately not use my psychedelic magnum opus, a literary picaresque that deals with McKenna's translinguistic goo matter, because I've already written a bit of it. Yes, it was a nominal amount, but not as nominal as a sentence or a paragraph, and so technically, I can't use it. You could say that I'm squandering the opportunity to actually finish the damn thing, but NaNoWriMo is a state of mind, and honestly, I could push myself to plow forward with it at any time.

So for the following month, I'm going to wing it. I'm sitting here with Scrivener open (I just downloaded it, trying it out - I actually really like it so far). Part of me wants to do something fantastical, but part of me wants to attempt something that's mainly character-based. Not that fantasy or science fiction can't be predominantly character-based, but I mean that the whole story will revolve around mere human mortals residing on our present-day Earth. So there's no fantastical back story, merely just... people. And honestly, that's really daunting, because I keep thinking of stories like Anna Karenina, major epic works that deal solely with human relations. I'd have to think of something pretty damn riveting.

I'll probably end up adding a subtle underscore of magical realism, because that's just how I roll. :]

But anyway, I HAVE NO OUTLINE, no concept, nothing, and I'm just staring at the blinking cursor thing, really not wanting to just start writing about boring drab characters who say nothing that means anything because I don't know what's going on.

So if you any of you are pantsers (like, flying by the seat of your pants), let me know what drives you.

I was trying to decide if I should make a nano filter but um... I'm lazy, and if you don't feel like reading about nano it takes 0 effort to scroll past a post, so I think you'll be all right.

Okay, I need to get back to actual creative thought. Bai.
oneiro: (pic#976854)
I just uploaded a bunch of new avatars (see: new Bill Hicks avatar, yay), and plan to do more.

My question to you guys is, have you noticed that the avatars sometimes come out a bit blurry? I can't tell if it's just me not seeing correctly, or if some are actually blurrier than they're supposed to be. Have any of you experienced this?
oneiro: (Default)
OH. OH. OH.

Also.

I'm doing NaNoWriMo.

So like... add me as a buddy. And we can commiserate together.

http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/participants/medusaspath
oneiro: seita and setsuko (grave of the fireflies)
So I go through these various phases, basically shifting from motivation to total deflation and deadness. I think I'm entering the motivation stage right now, as evidenced by me making an entry. Usually when I'm in a positive phase, I will blog more and try to get involved in online communities, and work on strengthening online friendships. But a friendship can't really come to fruition if you keep disappearing, but I can't help but get lost in my own head and just feel dead and apathetic sometimes.

Anyway, of course I am hoping that the bad phases will become less and less frequent. I am rather stressed at the moment, mainly with school and grad school applications (eeeeek!), but in spite of all that, I have it in me to actually DO something and create things and talk to people and become part of something, rather than just browsing the internet for hours like a zombie, knowing I should be taking advantage of the free time I have, and just... not doing it.

So yes, I'm going to try to keep myself in the zone. :)

Mood relates to the fact that I need to schedule classes and haven't done so yet and CUNY First is telling me that my password is wrong, but um, it's not? Wtf.

Edit: Oh, and I just purchased a paid accounts for a month. It was just 3 bucks so I figured I would give it a try. If it turns out to be worth it, I will purchase the longer one.
oneiro: (Default)
I have been INHALING Breaking Bad lately.

Holy shit, this show is so incredibly written. I would kill to write such nuanced, subtle dialogue that is both a powerful character portrait and an effective plot progression all at once.

IT'S SO GOOD.
oneiro: (Default)
I feel so unfathomably stressed...
oneiro: (Default)


Replace "play" with "write." Eerily applicable to today's literary world.

Also, this video sends chills down my spine every time I watch it.

I think Bill Hicks and Beethoven are the top two people I would like to meet. One day, on the other side, I hope...

hurricane

Aug. 26th, 2011 06:14 pm
oneiro: (Default)
Hurricane Irene is coming and ummmmm it's gonna be like category 1 or 2. And apparently this is the first time in history that transit has been shut down due to something like this (or ever? I don't know).

SO YEAH HOW EXCITING.

My zone isn't an evacuation zone but we live damn close to one, hence my dad's friend and his daughter who live like 20-30 minutes away coming to stay with us tomorrow night.

Us NYers are just not used to serious inclement weather so if it seems like we're being babies, well... that's why.

But it does sound like it could be legitimately dangerous and scary so... I dunno. :/ I hope everyone makes it through all right, especially those closer to the city.

I don't think this has any bearing anyone on my friends list but if it does, good luck. <3
oneiro: (Default)
We just had an earthquake.

My physical therapist and I didn't feel it but everyone around us (literally feet away, separated only by single walls and curtains) did.

Wat.
oneiro: (Default)
For anyone that is interested, I have started a new blog. It isn't personal. It's something I've been wanting to do for a while. The writing is much more articulate and well-composed, and the content will be more serious and opinion based. I'm not exactly sure of the direction it's heading it, but the one thing I am positive of is that it will be based on raw honesty and vulnerability. I will bare my soul and my opinions as best as I can, and I want to make connections.

If you would like to, check it out, and if it appeals to you, give it a chance. It would be much, much appreciate it.

Thank you muchly.

The Ruminations

Title is subject to change.

Thank you. <3
oneiro: (Default)
i'm sorrry i've been a dream within a dream
oneiro: blue haired beauty (vocaloid)
Feeling dizzy delirious with happinesssssss :)

thoughts.

Jun. 4th, 2011 03:30 pm
oneiro: (Default)
I've been writing and read a lot lately, which is nice. I feel so relaxed; it's so wonderful to have free time. I started this project that's pretty heavy on the psychedelics, which makes me nervous only because I don't want it to seem like a self indulgent piece on the wonders of tripping. I want it to have more substance than "drugs are fun!" I mean, I do think that psychedelics are extremely substantive, but my point is that it's hackneyed to just illustrate that yeah, tripping with the right mindset can be enlightening; there has to be more. But I do have a storyline in mind, and my boyfriend has been helping me out with it because he is extremely well-versed in the sciences, so I discuss things with him so that I don't look like I fool in my writing... ^^''

I love science and math, but only conceptually. I just find it hard to understand things on a deeper level, perhaps because my experience with science/math classes in middle school and high school was absolutely abysmal. I was failing math while buying books about the number zero and reading Stephen Hawking, so like... Yeah. I don't know. I had the interest but didn't work hard enough. I was also a slacker and didn't give myself enough credit.

Then again, I had a chemistry tutor in 11th grade, only to pass the test with a 70, which was pretty amazing considering my nominal understanding of chemistry. At the same time, I was going through some pretty heavy shit in 11th grade so... who's to say? Maybe I DO have an untapped aptitude in science and math that just requires more discipline than other people, who it comes easily to. Maybe it really is just self-discipline that I'm lacking.

I'm extremely grateful that I have a profound aptitude for the arts, but sometimes... I don't know... it would be nice to be a mathematical wizard, ya know? I love watching shows about space and astronomy and quantum physics and all that mind-boggling stuff, but it bothers me that I have to grapple so hard to understand some of the more intricate concepts, that require more than just a rational mind to understand.

Anyway. That's all, I guess. For now.
oneiro: (Default)
I did it all without Adderall.



no but for real the amount of work I did this weekend was astronomical.

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